2009 Conference Recap

I joined the Reformed Church in America because of the welcome and affirmation I heard for LGBTIQ persons from the pulpit of Marble Collegiate Church. When it became apparent that the denomination of my adulthood did not offer the same welcome and affirmation, I joined Room for All. My understanding of God’s radical love, made flesh in Jesus Christ, means I can do no more or less than to love and serve all flesh and that includes working for the full inclusion of LGBTIQ persons in the life and ministry of God’s church.

I was honored to be a part of Room for All’s inaugural conference in 2009 and took great hope in the presence and participation of so many college and seminary students. There was great warmth, practical theology, and grace-filled story telling shared that weekend. I could not help but feel the presence of the Lord in that place and a calm conviction that the Spirit’s wind was beneath our wings – carrying God’s radical love to all flesh.

Rev. Adriene Thorne
Associate Minister, Congregational Life
Middle Collegiate Church
New York NY

As a long time advocate of the full inclusion of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered community within the life of the Reformed Church in America, I came to the Room for All conference expecting to receive the proverbial preaching to the choir. Don’t misunderstand me, I need to hear that preaching! It is good for my soul to be in the company of people who labor with me in what feels like an arduous uphill battle in the RCA. Conferences like these can provide energy and healing, they can cultivate networks of support and give fuel for the journey. The Room for All National Gathering did not disappoint on any of those fronts.

Past President of the board, Rev. Shari Brink, gave a stirring opening address that set the tone for our time together. With humor, grace, and passion she recounted the winding road that brought us to this momentous place. The background and history of the formation of Room for All is complex and involves several strands, many people, and a whole world of pain. Shari wove those various strands into a beautiful tapestry that honored people’s experiences and lifted up people’s gifts. She found ways to welcome those new to the conversation and by the end of her presentation we all felt that we were on holy ground.

The opening worship service was a perfect example of why this road we walk in the RCA is so complicated. People come at this conversation from various entry points, find themselves on various places along a spectrum. What can sound empowering and brave to one can sound condescending and disappointing to another. At the end of the first evening, we had the opportunity to feel exactly where we are as a denomination: some passionately committed to throwing the doors of the RCA wide open to celebrate and welcome people of all sexual orientations in the life of the church and others cracking the door open tentatively and cautiously because of the very loud portion of the RCA who want to bar the doors closed and lock them from the inside.

At the risk of exposing my private arrogance, I will confess that I initially came to the conference expecting to hear things I had heard before. I came seeing myself as one who was there to support the cause more than one who was there to learn. Was I ever in for a wonderful surprise. The choice of speakers for the two plenary sessions of the conference was brilliant. Rev. Rebecca Voelkel and Vicki Wunsch were inspiring, creative, and engaging. But even more important to me, they had things to share that I needed to hear. They had experience in helping fledgling groups find traction and build momentum as a movement. And they understood the values of the Christian community. They built their principles and processes on nonviolent, strategic planning and that was a breath of fresh air. The Saturday workshop on strategic storytelling was powerful and will bear fruit in the life of my congregation far beyond the purposes of the Room for All agenda. The combination of lecture and instruction paired with the opportunity to practice what we were learning was more than good pedagogy. It was good community building. And the closing worship service brought all the stories, all the learning, all the pain and hope together in a simple and beautiful way.

I know that it took significant resources to bring the speakers and small group leaders to this conference. It took resources to bring those in attendance together as well. Those resources were well worth the effort to raise and represented some of the best stewardship I’ve seen in action in a long time.

Thank you to all who made this conference possible.

Grace to you and peace,

Rev. Jill R. Russell
Hope Reformed Church
Holland, MI

The aspect of the “Making Room for All” conference that continues to linger most in my mind and heart is not so much anything that was said, although there was valuable information to process and ponder. Nor is it a particular person I met or reconnected with who shares my commitment to full inclusion of LGBTQ brothers and sisters in the life of the Reformed Church, although there were surely some moving personal stories shared.

Instead, the impression that keeps coming back to me, keeps inspiring me, is the closing worship service. It was not that a lesbian pastor offered Communion in a way that was different than a straight pastor, but isn’t that the point? Nor was the singing or preaching or praying any better or worse. What was different was the palpable joy of standing openly before God and one another in the rich variety and fullness of our created sexual selves – male and female, gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgender – each of us free to be who we are as God’s well-loved image-bearers. The experience gave me hope for what might one day be possible throughout the RCA.

– Marilyn Paarlberg
First Reformed Church
Albany, NY

For more than 25 years, I have stood with those children of God who do not happen to be straight. I have preached and picketed, written and marched, made some of the best Christian friends I have ever had, and once spent some time in jail because of what I believed to be justice denied to my gay brothers and lesbian sisters. I have served on boards and attended many conferences, but I have never been more blessed and encouraged than I was at the national gathering of Room for All, in Grand Rapids, this past October.

Room for All honored me by inviting me to speak, but I came away from that time with my RCA Christian brothers and sisters with gifts far greater than any I brought to them. My greatest gift was to see in the people at that conference a loving understanding of those who were not there, those within their own church body with whom they differed. Some of those at Room for All had stories of great personal hurt to tell, but all whom I heard had moved beyond personal pain to the joy they found in being together and the hope they shared as they looked forward to the day when there would truly be Room for All in their denomination.

Part of the wonder of this advocacy group may be because they have learned from those other denominational groups that, many years ago, took up the holy task of demanding justice for all God’s children. There was a maturity in this four year old group that met in Grand Rapids. They had had the benefit of hearing respected scholars who stood on their side. To cite just one who was part of the conference, Dr. David Myers showed us from the Bible that there was no reason that committed same gender partnerships should not be honored and blessed by the church. I was amazed to hear conference attendees speak with great understanding about really difficult and hurtful things, like the reasons that would probably further delay a justice already too long denied them by their denomination. But always, that understanding held within it the certainty that they would continue to knock relentlessly at the door that had been closed to them, that Jesus Christ stood outside at that door with them, and that one day that door would open.

Room for All began at a place beyond that where earlier advocacy groups of other denominations gathered to share their pain and discuss how they could make things right for themselves. Room for All was birthed just four years ago as an outgrowth of a group called Friends of Norm, made up of people who could not sit by and watch justice denied to their friend and Christian brother, Dr. Norm Kansfield. Dr. Kansfield, a mature man, had risked and lost his place of honor and service within RCA to stand with someone else. Many of the founders of Room for All began their journeys, like their friend Norm, standing for others and looking at the big picture. And, in Grand Rapids, I found them still looking at the big picture. Room for All thinks and works beyond both the political and the personal.

The people at Room for All encouraged me and gave me hope, not only for what is possible in their denomination, but for the whole church of Jesus Christ on Earth. Among my memories of my time with Room for All is the concert by the West Michigan Gay Men’s Chorus on the same night I spoke. This group was undoubtedly one of the finest musical groups I have ever heard, and I will remember their music. But I will remember even more, their faces and the joy with which they sang, “out” and proud, as the people God made them to be, in a church, for Christian people! When I talked to some of them afterwards, they confirmed what I had seen – that many of them had grown up in churches, but now believed they could never be part of a church again. We had given them hope! There was joy in knowing that, even as the chorus had blessed us with their music, we had shared with them our certainty that one day there would be room for them in church because in God’s Church, there is Room for All.

I cannot tell all the personal stories I heard, nor of the brave and caring people I met, but I will remember them. Let me close by saying that Lorraine Nelson Wolf’s song, Room for All, commissioned by Room for All, and beautifully performed by Ms. Wolfe at the conference*, encapsulated for me everything important about our recent time together in Grand Rapids. Ms. Wolfe paints a musical picture of a people who have, with God’s help, come into their own, beginning with the words, “the winter has passed, the rain clouds are gone….the time for the singing of songbirds has come,” and ending with the voices of a free and united people asking only that the love of God be sent out through them. It was those united and free people whom I met at Room for All and I believe they are destined to do great things, not only for their own denomination, but for the Kingdom of God.

*the song, “Room for All” has now been immortalized on Lorraine Nelson Wolfe’s latest album, My Only Comfort. Ms. Wolfe gives credit to RfA as the group that commissioned the song.

– Peggy Campolo

For so long I have felt my voice and spirit in conflict with the Bible and with God on the issue of homosexuality. This is because I have been told for years that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong, that God views homosexuality as a sin, that real Christians believe gays go to hell. In my heart I have always felt otherwise, and in my mind, I have been trapped in a conundrum. How could a loving and good God condemn some people’s love as a sin when, in fact, God made them to love in that way? This has been my frustration, and a major hurdle in my faith. Though it is only one aspect of faith—and I’ve often had friends tell me that I just need to overlook it—for me it has been a consuming aspect of faith, and I have never been able to get away from it. At times in my life I have become resolved to thinking that if God is one who condemns gay love, then why would I ever want to be a part of such a faith? How could I ever see such love as a sin? I felt that if there wasn’t room for everyone—my family, my friends, the whole LGBT community—then there really wasn’t room for me either.

I didn’t want to support that kind of exclusion.

The Room for All conference has finally brought me some peace on the issue. In many ways it was a spiritual awakening for me. Honestly, for the first time in my life, the conundrum that has limited my faith for years melted away. No longer did I have to feel that my voice conflicts with God’s voice. I appreciated the acknowledgment of the historical context of the Bible passages that are often used to condemn homosexuals, and the emphasis that God does not address sexual orientation or committed homosexual relationships. Those hateful voices condemning love are not God’s voice.

For me, the worship services on Thursday night and Saturday morning were the most powerful parts of the conference. I had not felt close to God in that way for such a long time, or possibly ever. In feeling God’s acceptance and appreciation of all people, I finally felt that I deserved to be loved and appreciated by God as well. In hearing that there was room for everyone in God’s house, I finally felt that there was room for me and that that was something of which I wanted to be a part.

I also appreciated the workshop on Saturday morning that taught us about how to write our own stories. It was remarkable to see how leaders of the conference took their vision for an open and affirming church, and turned the vision into action. Through Room for All, they nurtured a community in the RCA for LGBT Christians and supporters. Furthermore, by providing conference goers with a specific toolset to open minds and change hearts, they prepared us to create change in our own communities and churches. Thus, they taught us how to work within the system that already exists to create change and promote equality. Overall, it was a remarkably inspirational, touching experience for me that has left a lasting impact.

Beth Ann Tieche, Student at Hope College

When the opportunity was presented to attend the first national Room for All conference, we felt strongly that we needed to be there. Not knowing exactly what to expect, we joined others of all ages and walks of life, and waited anxiously for the weekend to unfold.

What soon became apparent was the commonality we all shared of working towards justice and inclusion for the LGBT community, in our own churches, colleges and various social groups. What made this gathering so different, was the true Spirit that permeated the atmosphere. There was no mistaking that we were children of God being called to stand up, speak out and believe in the gifts that had been given us.

Through dynamic workshops and worship sessions, we learned, not only how to further affirm ourselves, but also find our own unique voice. We heard stories and songs that made us laugh and cry—shared experiences that inspired us and confirmed that we were not alone on our journey here. We came away from the weekend humbled, yet lifted-up—overwhelmed with beauty of our fellowship together and aware of the challenges that had been set before us.

As a gay couple, desiring to follow God’s will, the Room for All conference fortified our beliefs, clarified our purpose and strengthened our personal commitment.

David & Clark Cameron-Gonzalez
United Church of Spring Valley
Spring Valley, New York

“The Room for All Conference was a deeply spiritual experience for me. It not only solidified the power of learning to tell our stories as LGBT persons of faith, but made it clear that, even in metropolitan congregations like Marble Collegiate Church, there is more work to be done regarding the radical inclusion of all God’s children. I support Room for All because what they do in working toward this goal is persistent, loving and faith-based.”
Collegiate’s GIFTS ministry is pursuing the possibility that Vicki Wunsch, a workshop leader at Making Room for All will lead a GIFTS retreat on strategic storytelling.

– David Sisco
Co-Chairperson
GIFTS, Marble Collegiate Church
New York, NY